New Year Res

Before I made any new resolutions, I thought it'd be a good idea to look back at last year's and see how I made out. Here's the one I posted last year...

"Stop wasting your time, your energy, your emotions, on people that don't deserve it or appreciate it. Instead of spreading yourself thin, focus more on culturing the relationships that bring you joy, and that you can add value to. Love yourself even more than you did last year. Believe in the best version of yourself. Listen more and talk less. Be the kind of person that you want others to see in you. And always, always see the good in everyone."

And as I read that, I remember how I felt at the beginning of last year, so full of hopes and expectations, so pleased at the previous year for all of its accomplishments. I felt so strong, so confident, and with that came excitement for the coming year, with all its new experiences and growth...I had no clue what was coming. To say this year had its share of challenges would be an understatement. Without tedious details, I feel like 2011 knocked the wind out of me. I spent most of the year just trying to breathe and do my best to look ahead for the "something better" I had to believe was coming. (It's why I didn't blog much this year...I didn't want to be living in my world, much less writing about it.)

So did I keep my resolutions? Let's see. I did a better job of figuring out which relationships I should be focusing on. I learned a little more about who I could count on, and who I couldn't, though I'm still working on that. And I did my best to see the good in everyone.

Where I may have failed is in the more personal side of that resolution. I lost a little faith in myself this year. I wasn't as strong as I wanted to be, wasn't as strong as I wanted everyone else to think I was. When the storms came, I didn't fall, but I wavered a little.

But with the realization that this new year will bring new challenges comes the reassurance that I have the power to decide how I react to them. With that in mind, here's the resolutions I wrote to myself for 2012...

"Believe in yourself. Keep dreaming. But don't just dream...grow your dreams. Count your blessings more frequently than your bills. Speak slowly and with purpose. Continue to be a better listener. Pause long enough to find beauty where it's unexpected. And most importantly, have a closer relationship with your heavenly Father."