Why I hate and, once in a while, love my job.

Today something kind of awesome happened at work. I actually helped make a significant difference in my patient's quality of life. I have been working with this patient since I came to Jacksonville six weeks ago, and he was on therapy for at least a month prior to that. When I started working with him he was not able to get out of his bed and into his wheelchair without extensive help, due to physical disabilities and several other issues. Today I could tell him that he no longer needed physical therapy because he can now safely get in and out of bed and into his wheelchair with the use of a sliding board (a tool used in therapy, for patients who are not able to stand or or support their body weight on their legs). To some people, this may not seem like a big deal, because we take for granted that we are able to get out of bed on our own strength every day. For this man, this was a HUGE accomplishment. Imagine being a grown person, and yet having to rely on other people to physically lift you out of bed because you can't do it yourself. This man is now able to regain a little of his dignity because, after months of therapy, he is now able to get out of bed on his own, without physical help. When I told him he had officially graduated from therapy, he was a little quiet, didn't say much...but later, he came back with tears in his eyes and thanked me for pushing him so hard and making him "stick with it." He even said he was going to miss coming to therapy. This is so significant because he was a very difficult patient...when I started working with him, he had an irrational fear of falling, to the point that he was terrified to sit on the edge of the bed. There were many times were I was sure he hated me, because I really pushed him hard, never giving in to his fears, but making him face them every day, many times until he was close to tears. He has not completely conquered all his fears yet, but he is so much better, and he was able to get past them enough that he could learn how to transfer himself using the board. He told me that he never believed that he could do it until I believed in him, and that just made my day, my week, and probably my month.

You must be wondering why I hate my job, then. Here's why...this ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS! If I could treat patients like this every day, all day, I would LOVE my job. Wait, you say? I'm a physical therapist, this should be happening all the time, it's what I do for a living, right? This is exactly what I THOUGHT when I graduated, too. However, that is not the case, not even close. For every patient like this, I have ten patients that are the complete opposite. These are the patients that couldn't care less about therapy, that are completely content to remain at the level of care they are in and have no desire to get better. They complain all day, every day, find every excuse in the book to not do the things that I am trying to teach them to do. They don't want to put in an ounce of effort, and are only in therapy because that is the only way their insurance will allow them to remain in the nursing home without significant financial loss. (If the nursing home can show that a patient needs the skilled services of physical therapy, most insurances will pay for a patient to stay in the nursing home for a certain period of time, as opposed to the patient paying for it.) And since, of course the nursing home wants the money, I'm required to treat these patients whether or not they really need or want the therapy, and whether or not they can significantly benefit from it. So I basically have a lot of "filler" patients that are making the nursing home and rehab companies money, but that are entirely unmotivated, undeserving and unqualified for therapy. For every patient that thanks me, I have dozens more that glare at me, grumble constantly, and even several that flat out just curse at me. And since the rehab department is basically required to bring in a certain percentage of the income for the nursing home, if we don't have enough patients on our caseload to make the grade, we have to "find" more patients, which is usually done by "screening" the nursing home residents and finding the ones that have "declined," in order to bring the caseload up. It's such a joke, and it's hard to go to work every day when I rarely get the chance to actually put my skills to work and really make a difference in someone's life. Which is why I get so excited when I actually do...

"Proud, happy and thrilled!"

I am SO excited right now. Beyond excited. Thrilled. Ecstatic. Elated.

I just ran.

Yup. That's it. I ran. And I'm excited about it. Why? Because I am finally healthy enough to run again!!!! This feels so amazing!

It's the first time I've run in about five weeks...and I really sucked at it. But I don't care. I RAN!!! It feels so good to be able to run again, I just can't even explain how good it feels. Now I just have to get good at it again. Especially since I challenged my brothers to a 10K on Thanksgiving.

Also, I'm making some great new friends here in Jacksonville, and having a great time with my good friend Meredith, and there's even a small chance I may be able to stay here past Christmas...though this is still very up in the air right now and, like my very superstitious patient Mr. M would say, "You don't want to jinx it."

And...cupcakes for the first person who can tell me the movie that the quote in my blog title came from. This does not include my sister, who I have no doubt already knew the answer before I even posed this challenge. In fact, this is way too easy...anyone else who isn't already awesome enough to know every word of this movie by heart could just Google it. So the cupcakes are out. But let's see who gets the correct answer first. Go!

Life is what happens when you're trying to plan it.

I don't even know where to begin. As I'm writing this, I'm also thinking about the millions of things I should be doing instead. True to form, my life has not slowed down at all since arriving in Jacksonville. Sure, I finally found a place to live, settled into my job, and worked on getting healthy again...but that's just the beginning...

The first great thing that's happened to me so far is that I'm starting to feel better again! I'm always amazed at how much of a difference this makes in every aspect of my life, as silly as that sounds. Sometimes I just get used to feeling less than 100% and I forget what's it like to not always worry about my health and whether or not it's going to affect my job, my social life, my sleep, my weight, my appearance, my future...As a rule, I try not to let my health affect any decisions I make, but all the same, it doesn't stop me from worrying and thinking about it ALL THE TIME. I truly don't remember how incredible it is to feel healthy until I AM healthy and all that worry is gone...it's an amazing feeling! I feel like I can conquer the world! Which is apparently what I'm trying to do, or at least it feels that way...

I've been so busy the last couple weeks that I haven't even finished unpacking yet. I got most of the important stuff done, but there's still a few boxes to take care of...one of the things I should be doing right now. I'd like to have it all done tonight so that tomorrow when my friend Meredith comes over the place will look nice. I've been seeing a lot of Meredith lately, it's been great to spend time with her, I haven't seen this much of her since we went to college together several years ago. We're having fun making dinner for each other, going out for dinner...and brunch, we also went to a movie...and she helped me unpack my truck when I moved in! I've also met some new friends in Jacksonville, including a girl I work with named Jessica, who went to the Jaguars game with me...Ugh, what an awful game that was...but we had tons of fun anyway, and I hope this isn't the last Jaguars game I get to attend this season...

Since I'm also getting involved with the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation here in Jacksonville, there's a good chance this will not be the last I see of the Jaguars. Many of you know that I'm a huge Jags fan, and also a David Garrard fan, and he, as well as the Jaguars organization, is involved with CCFA too. Maybe I'll even get to meet him again! We'll see...but in any case I have several things going on with CCFA right now, just trying to lend a hand wherever I can by helping to raise awareness as well as fundraising in the Jacksonville area, and that involves a lot of time, which of course is always in short supply. I'm happy to do it though, because CCFA has done so much for me. I met with Katie from CCFA yesterday after work, we had a lovely time at a fabulous place called Bistro Aix, just a few blocks from where I live...we talked up a storm, she has so many great ideas, and I can't wait to get started on them! I have a couple meetings to add to my already busy schedule, and Thursday I'm going to see a familiar face from camp at one of these meetings, can't wait!

Also excited for Florida/Georgia football weekend, coming up in a few days, not sure how I'm going to be celebrating yet, but you can be certain that I will not let it pass by unnoticed...

In between all that, I'll be working on settling into my new home and job, at least for now, can't believe that I might have to start all over again in a new town in 9 weeks...I'd like to stay here a little while longer, if possible. The job isn't bad, really, I don't actually have a lot to do, and I spend a lot of time doing nothing and taking little catnaps at my desk...but that could all change...I found out yesterday that my boss is leaving, this is his final week...Haven't met the new boss yet, so I don't know how much my job is going to change after this week. I'm just going to enjoy this week of freedom, in case it's my last. I'm also enjoying my new temporary home. I'm really glad I waited until I found something just right, even though it was stressful staying in hotel after hotel, and looking at place after place. By not settling, I got this great little townhouse right on the river, with a gorgeous balcony view, as you can see...and it's a two bedroom, so everyone can come visit! I love guests, and I promise to fit you into my schedule somewhere...

Oh yeah, now that I'm feeling better, it's high time I start training for my next half marathon! Ever since the first one, I knew it wouldn't be my last, that was such an awesome feeling...My plan is to do the same one in Gainesville, as long as I'm still in Florida in February. Now I just have to find a safe place to run here in Jacksonville...and a gym...and time...

Life is a runaway train...

This is the song that keeps running through my head, courtesy of Sugarland..."Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on." I feel like my life has been exactly like a runaway train these last few weeks! Let's see, three weeks ago I was in Venice, on the beach, wondering how much longer I'd be staying...

Well, I didn't end up staying in Venice after all...I tried like crazy to get the rehab director at VRMC to keep me around longer, but in the end they really needed a PT, no way around it. I was sad to leave, I really liked Venice and mostly just really almost enjoyed my job there, which is something I haven't really experienced before while working in physical therapy (sadly). So...while still in Venice I landed another assignment, this one in Jacksonville, FL. Not my ideal location, but there are FAR worse places to be, as I've experienced firsthand. I had over a week's notice this time, which meant I had extra time to prepare for the move, find housing, get settled, etc. Riiiiight...

Housing...ugh. I spent so very many hours looking for housing...searching, searching, searching. Affordable corporate housing is not easy to find in Jacksonville. (I'm also greedy, and didn't want to use all of my generous housing stipend, because of course that's less money in my pocket.) I finished my assignment in Venice on the 24th of September and headed to Gainesville the following day for another weekend with my parents...after a mini-reunion in Tampa with a lovely lady from camp. I still had not found housing yet, after several false alarms, so my plan was to just stay in Gainesville for the weekend, then head to Jacksonville Sunday evening and stay in a hotel for a day or two until I found something more permanent. Riiiiight...

Sunday came around, and knocked me on my knees. I got really sick, had the worst flare of my ulcerative colitis that I can ever remember having, didn't even know how I was going to drive to Jacksonville, much less start my job on Monday. I stayed in Gainesville Sunday night, with plans to hopefully feel better in the morning and drive to Jacksonville very early. The morning came around and I didn't feel any better, but had no choice but to get going anyway. And get going I did...right up to the point where I got a $400 speeding ticket halfway to Jax...and I wasn't even speeding! Well, technically I was...I was going the speed limit, but apparently missed the reality that I was in an active school zone, which meant I was going 20 miles over the speed limit. (More on the legitimacy of that claim later.) So this was officially one of the worst Mondays I've had in a while. I finally make it to work, only 15 minutes late, even after all that, and it didn't matter anyway. I was the first one there, apparently my recruiter didn't get the memo or forgot to tell me that nobody would be there until 8:30...so I was actually still 15 minutes early. Anyway, I eventually met the rehab team, which was basically only two people, both of whom are very nice. I made it through my first day of work, but barely, still feeling very ill. I checked into my hotel and went straight to sleep...

Tuesday I was still as sick as I'd been, and I finally had to tell my boss that on my second day of work I needed time off to go to the doctor. He was VERY understanding and supportive, thank goodness. Since I had to make an appointment with a brand new doctor on such short notice, I didn't exactly get to pick which doctor I'd like to see, I just had to take whomever was available. I ended up with a doctor that prefers his patients to be seen, not heard. I'm so over doctors that are not open to discussion, other opinions, etc. It's like they're offended if you actually want to make a decision on your own; they'd rather "lead the blind." He did eventually give me some medicine that I could actually agree to take, and I started feeling a teeny bit better within a couple days.

I still hadn't found housing at this point, and after looking at countless places, I was even more discouraged. I felt like I'd be staying in a hotel forever. I must have looked at four or five places last week, including one that was outrageously priced and didn't even have a kitchen! Obviously not something I could do without...For every place I went to see, I'd called at least three or four possible options without success, and eventually just resigned myself to the fact that securing housing just wasn't going to happen this week. Riiiiight....

On Friday, I was supposed to leave for Kansas for my cousin's wedding, but Thursday had made a last ditch effort to contact one last person about their apartment for rent. She had agreed to let me see the place on Friday morning, so I rushed there before leaving for the airport, saw the place and it seemed to be what I was looking for, but the owner had some stipulations that I just couldn't agree to. So with a sigh, I raced to the airport and made it to the gate just as my plane was boarding, already dreading returning on Sunday only to stay in yet another hotel. I decided to put aside all the anxiety about finding a place to live and just enjoy the weekend in Kansas...which I did. The wedding was lovely, and it was just so great to see my cousins and extended family that we stayed up late every night, I barely slept all weekend. (On a side note, while in Kansas my mom tells me that she got a $400 ticket while on her way to the airport in Jacksonville...in the exact same place that I got mine last week, and for the exact same thing! I was completely resigned to paying the ticket, and shaming myself for speeding in a school zone...until I heard this! The fact that the tickets were in Waldo, which is a known speed trap town, according to Triple A, and that we both got one in the same place tells me there may just be something fishy about all this. I mean, how could we both have missed a flashing yellow school zone warning light? I fully intend to look into this further as soon as I have a moment to breathe.) When I got back to Jacksonville, I had a message on my voicemail from the apartment owner that I had met Friday morning...she decided to rent the apartment to me at the price I wanted, and without all the stipulations...I was jubilant!! I checked into a hotel Sunday night for the last time, and Monday moved into my new home!

It's a cute little townhouse on the river in downtown Jax, and less than two miles from my job. Did I mention that I'm going to be in Jacksonville until Christmas?! That's right, almost three months in one place, I'm so glad I can finally unpack my suitcase and actually live like a normal person again! Riiiight....

I still have to go back to Gainesville to get all my clothes and other random things that have been in storage since I left Eustis at the end of July. So technically I'll still be living out of a suitcase until Sunday when I get back from Gainesville, but after 70 straight days of living out of a suitcase, what's a couple more, right?

So now you see why I feel like the last few weeks have been quite a ride...on a runaway train! I almost feel bored after the excitement and craziness of it all...almost. I'm starting to wonder what it will be like having an entire weekend to myself with nothing planned...but of course that won't happen until the weekend after this one, since I have to go to Gainesville this weekend. By then, I'll probably have something else going on anyway. But that's just my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Riiiight....

Venice, FL

If you read my last post, I talked at the end about a potential work assignment that I was hoping to get. That assignment was located in Venice, FL...which is where I am right now!! I obviously got the assignment, and even though it was another short one (three weeks), it's in a place that I knew I'd at least not mind being...which is an understatement. I had no idea that I'd like Venice as much as I do! I'm staying on the beach, my job at Venice Regional Medical Center is less than a mile from where I'm staying, and I actually almost like it! I've never worked in acute care before, but it's a lot different than the other travel jobs I've had. I don't know if that's because it's acute care, or if it's because this is a small hospital (only four floors), or if it's because the people I work with/for are of higher character than some I've come across in the past. I'm not really sure, and I really don't care. I just know that I don't mind going to work right now, even though it's hard work. I just finished working seven days in a row, and I'm exhausted but not frustrated. Well, not about working that much anyway.

I'm supposed to be leaving a week from Saturday, and I knew up front that this was (yet another) short term assignment. (For the record, I have now been living out of a suitcase for 7 straight weeks.) When I accepted the assignment, the people I work for were very clear that they only needed me for three weeks, and my recruiter tried in vain to get them to extend it any longer than that. However, almost since I started, they have been dropping hints that they MIGHT need me longer. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, but I'm really hoping I'm not wrong. It's why I agreed to work seven days in a row, in the hope that they might find me indispensable and decide to keep me around. I'm supposed to find out today...it figures that on my first day off I'd be sitting around just thinking about work. But I do like it here and I want to stay. I've been putting off doing much exploring, sticking mostly to my cute little condo on the beach, the beach itself, and Publix (even though it does close at 9PM). (The pictures you see are of the trail I walk to the beach and of the beach itself, the very one that I sit on almost every night after work.) I know there's A LOT to explore, and Sarasota is just up the road, with even way more stuff to do. But since I don't know if I'm staying, I'm trying not to like this place even more, in case I have to leave next week. If I do end up staying longer, I'm definitely going to fill up my days off with things to do. Or do nothing...either way, I'd love it.

The only thing I have planned besides work is going to dinner tonight...with my Camp Oasis co-counselor Stacey! She lives not too far from here, about 20 minutes I think, and I'm super excited to spend a little time with her for the first time since camp. She was such a sweet lady and I can't wait to find out what's been going on with her since camp, and share all my new experiences with her as well. It'll be fun (and relaxing) to spend time with her in a non-camp related way, without seven teenagers around. Not that I don't love all my campers, but it can be stressful at times. Anyway, we're going to dinner at Sharky's on the Pier, a famous Venice landmark, and definitely my kind of place. I know this because I've seen it during my beach runs, since the pier is less than an mile and a half from my little strip of beach. (By the way, barefoot beach running is HARD! My calves have never been this sore before.) Should be fun to get out for a little while, then it's back to work tomorrow. I'll let everyone know whether or not I'll be staying in Venice, just as soon as I know for sure. Another reason I want to stay here is because there are still very few jobs out there right now for traveling therapists, and I really don't want to be unemployed again. Here I go getting my hopes up again...

August and suitcases

I've felt a blog post coming on for awhile now, and just couldn't avoid it any longer. (Just realized it's been over a month since I wrote anything!) The last month has been absolutely insane, in good ways and other ways, but mostly great ways.

Started the month off with Camp Oasis, which pretty much rocks my life every year, and this year was no exception. Started off a little different, being in a new location this year, but we all quickly got into the swing of things and started rocking out almost immediately. Loved that I finally talked my friend Chase into coming back to camp after five years away! How in the world he stayed away that long, I'll never know, but it was great to have him there, especially when I unexpectedly needed some moral support and a hug one (or two) day(s). But mostly camp was amazing and wonderful and life-changing, as it always is...I'm still feeling that after-camp high that makes you feel like you can pretty much accomplish anything. On a side note, I had worn a temporary tattoo all throughout the week of camp (check out the picture) that symbolized the camp theme this year. Earlier this week, I looked down at my foot and realized that I had gotten a tan line from the tattoo, which for some reason made me super-excited...I couldn't stop smiling.

After camp, I headed back to Florida for a short weekend with my parents in Gainesville before driving to Orlando for my next work assignment. This was a short assignment, only one week long, but all that was available at the moment, so I took it. Spent the week at a hotel, met some great people on the job, which was such a relief because at my last assignment some of the people I worked for/with were just ridiculously awful. The week went by quickly, and I headed back to Gainesville for another weekend with my parents.

Left again the next week for a two-week assignment in the grand town of Perry, FL (population 6,669). I actually really enjoyed myself there, in spite of being in ANOTHER hotel, and living out of a suitcase for the what was now the fourth straight week. Met some more great people at work, the job was really laid back, and ate at a couple local restaurants that were really good and quite the experience. (This is one of my favorite things about traveling for work, finding awesome restaurants with great food.) First place was this down home BBQ restaurant called Goodman's. The picture of the cow tipping team sign was taken at this restaurant, pretty much sums up my entire Perry experience. In case you can't read the small print, it says, "Go for the rear when pushin' a steer, Wait 'til they're asleep & tip the beef." The other place I went was the place my co-workers took me out to lunch for my last day, a real dive of a seafood place called Roy Deal's. Great food, including some decent oysters. (I wasn't brave enough to try the swamp cabbage, which I found out was actually part of a palm tree.) The best part about this place was that at random intervals some lively music would start playing on the loudspeaker and this lady would come out with something she called a "pogo stick" but was actually some kind of instrument that looked like a cross between snare drums and bongos, but on a stick. (Tough to imagine, I know, so I've provided a picture.) She was actually really good at playing it and she'd dance around all the tables to wild applause, then go back to manning the cash register until the next interval. Good times...

I'm now back in Gainesville, on my fifth straight week of living out of my suitcase and waiting for my next assignment, which I can only hope is long enough that I have a chance to actually stay somewhere that's more like a home than a hotel, somewhere that I can settle in for a few months this time. There's a couple prospects out there that I'm trying to work on, it's getting really hard to be patient when it seems like the companies that I work with are trying to take advantage of me at every turn. I really just have such a difficult time dealing with people that don't give you the whole story, that beat around the bush, or paint a pretty picture where there isn't really one. I hate small talk, idle talk and I really despise when people try to blow sunshine up my you-know-what. Sooo...dealing with recruiters is pretty much my least favorite thing right now.

On the sunny side, I've had a lot of down time the past several days (being temporarily unemployed allows for that sort of luxury), which has given me time for things like running, reading, crocheting, a whole lot of (probably too much) thinking, and plenty of naps. The running thing has been mostly great, I'm trying to get in gear for an eventual half-marathon rerun next February, but mostly just running because it helps to relieve stress, clear my mind. It's such a no-frills sport, just put on some shoes, turn on the i-Pod and hit the road, I love that! The reading has been mostly The Chronicles of Narnia, which I'm thoroughly enjoying, having never read most of the stories when I was younger. The crocheting (yes, you read that right) is something I've always enjoyed, but rarely had time for in the past. I know it sounds old and grandma-ish but there's something very therapeutic about creating something beautiful with yarn, repetition and patience. The thinking has been mostly about my future in my career and whether or not I want to take a giant leap into something completely different and unknown by going back to school. If you're any good at reading between the lines, you probably already know that not only do I not find my job fulfilling or thrilling, I find it frustrating and maddening at times...and I definitely believe that life is way too short to spend so much of it doing something that doesn't make me blissfully satisfied to be doing it. I've known for a while now that I need to go back to school, but I'm not looking forward to it, having never enjoyed school much either. I need to take action, though, and the long talks with myself are definitely paying off. We'll see what happens in the next year or two...

In the meantime, I'm going to keep traveling for work, as long as there's jobs to be had. I'll keep everyone posted on my next location just as soon as I know where it will be. I'm trying not to get my hopes up about a potential assignment that I heard about, but it sounds nice, and like I told a friend this morning, hope is hard to kill. Fingers crossed!

Goodbye, Leesburg and Eustis...

It was a lovely Saturday, in fact it still is...I haven't done one single thing I didn't feel like doing, haven't expended much energy at all today. So much different then the past few Saturdays...Not that I mind being busy, having way too much to do or having way too much fun to be had, it's just nice to have an entire day with nothing to do but indulge yourself once in a while. Not that I could really afford an entire day like that, but I did it anyway. I really should have started packing, since I'm moving next week, but I have tomorrow for that. A friend once told me, "If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute." I try to live by that motto...but, as lovely as that motto is, and as much as I could expand on it, that's not what I wanted to write about tonight.

I've just been having these thoughts and feelings lately, actually over the last couple months, about just how great my life is...sometimes I feel overwhelmed with gratitude at where my life has taken me, and what I have to look forward to. Doesn't mean my life is perfect and wonderful and that I don't have obstacles...in fact, it's rather curious and odd that I should be thinking about how awesome everything is, considering I've been through quite a lot these last few months...But I'm learning to appreciate and see all the wonderful things about my life, and that has made all the difference. I have so much to look forward to that I can't help but celebrate.

The first thing I'm excited about is leaving Leesburg/Eustis, FL. Yes, the time has finally come, my job contract has ended and I can finally move on to a place where (hopefully) Publix does not close at 9PM. My last day of work will be this Thursday, and it can't come soon enough. I am not at all sentimental about leaving, there's not much here to leave behind. It's no secret that I did not enjoy much about this contract, especially the place I worked...the only things I'll miss are the friends I've made, but we'll keep in touch and they can always visit wherever I end up for my next contract...the location of which at this point is still unknown. Feels a little like deja vu, coming down to the wire like last time...although I'm taking the week after next off, so there's still some time. Which brings me to the next thing I am looking forward to...

I'm taking the next week off because I'm going to Camp Oasis!!! This is something I wait for all year, every year, I love going there, it's always so very much fun, refreshing and renewing and there's nowhere else I'd rather be every summer. I can't wait to see all my old friends, make new ones, get crazy, and live in the woods with a bunch of kids for a week with very little communication with the outside world (except for limited cell phone service). I seriously can hardly wait for July 31st!

I'm also just excited in general for what the next several months have in store...a new contract means a new locale, a new place to explore, new friends I have yet to meet, new challenges...I also can't wait for my cousin Megan's wedding in October, for several reasons...the first being that I'm just so happy for her, can't wait to see her walk down the aisle and marry the man she loves...I love happy endings. I also am just excited about going to Kansas for her wedding, since I've never been that far west before...and I'm excited about seeing my extended family again so soon, after just spending time with them last month at our family reunion! We have so much fun together! Then soon after that, there's the holidays to look forward to, hopefully a trip of some sort between now and then if I can squeeze it in...and then there's more new contracts and new locations, hopefully in other states besides Florida. It's just one good thing after another, falling right into my life and into my lap. I'm the luckiest girl in the world!